I wish I was a laptop
I'd let you stroke my keys
I'd let you download porn
And play with me for free.
Oh I wish I was a laptop!
I'd let you hack my system
You could override my programs
Without breaking my encryption.
How I wish I was a laptop
You could worship all my bytes
Insert your neon floppy
And keep me up all night!
I wish I was a laptop
With an internet connection
You could build up all my firewalls
And keep me safe from insurrection
I wish I was a laptop
The best one in the shop
I'd let you press my button
And turn me on non-stop.